A Wizard Always Knows

            “When is the next one?” stamped a boy watching the bus he missed.  “I wish I knew!”

            “It will arrive in four minutes, twenty seconds.”  Came a voice from the end of the bench.  The boy looked to see a bearded man with a pointy hat.

            “How do you know?”  The boy asked.

            “A wizard always knows.”  The old man said simply.

            “I wanna know too!  Everything!” the boy shouted.

            “Knowing everything, isn’t everything.”  The old man said with exhaustion in his eyes.

            “At least its better than where I am.  Things would be so much easier if I knew it all.”  The boy retorted but the old man shook his head. 

            “If you’re so sure put this on.” he said handing the boy his hat.  “Then you’ll have all the answers you can handle.” 

            The boy snagged the hat and perched it atop his head.  Instantly he knew all kinds of things. “The bus will arrive in exactly two minutes and seven seconds.”  He said.  And it was.

            From then on whenever the boy wore the hat he had all the answers.  He used it often because,

            A wizard always knows who’s coming to dinner.     

            A wizard always knows what the birds are thinking.

            A wizard always knows when to say when.

            A wizard always knows where the beef is.

            A wizard always knows why ask why.

            A wizard always knows how the cookie crumbles.   

            What the wizard doesn’t know is… suspense.

            A wizard seldom laughs because they know all the punchlines.       

            A wizard rarely plays games since they know who will win.
            A wizard scarcely needs to search for anything.

            A wizard can’t be surprised as they know what’s inside every gift.

            A wizard never guesses for all the answers are theirs.

            “No mysteries?  No wondering?  No, thank you.”  The boy said in a huff.                      Deciding he’d rather know a little and learn a lot the boy returned to the bus stop with the hat.  To his surprise the old man was waiting for him. 

            “All done with knowing?” the man asked.

            “Yes, I’ll rely on myself.” Said Philip, handing the hat to the man.  “But, how did you know I’d be here?” 

            The old man winked and said,  “A wizard always knows.”